Quick Post...

Well, Christmas is over

And it was painless...

I still have a few people to visit

I didn't get to see Celia and T.J.

But I'm going to try and do that

A little after the New Year.

This is just a quick post

Because it's 10 till 6

And I have to leave 

I'm going to a concert 

In Massilon...

Jason's band is playing

And I said that I would go.

I'm excited!

More about break later...

In the New Room

I'm all settled in for Winter Break...

Well... mostly.

I still need to put the Christmas tree back up

But other than that, 

I'm all settled.  

Tonight, I went out for dinner

With Gerry and Allison,

Two of the other winter RAs

And I'm really excited for this year

Because it's not cliquey like it was last year

We all get along

And we can tell our RA horror stories 

And laugh together

And I like it a lot...

I'm in Centennial C for break

Which is a very nice room

But not as big as my other room

And I miss my bathtub

But the carpeting is nice

And being able to control the heat is nice too

Plus, I'm right beside the laundry room

So later tonight, I'm doing a major clothes-washing...

For now, I have to go...

Time for 8:00 rounds!

2:00 A.M. Catharsis...

Okay... so I know this is going to be melodramatic...
I actually sort of intend it to be...
It's somewhat cathartic... 
A purging of sorts... 

It's just... 
I'd like to think someone listens
But if I write it all out like this
Then only the people that WANT to listen can
So if you don't want to deal with my drama
Then please, 
Stop reading here.
I wouldn't want you to be inconvenienced any further.

Last week, someone called me "fuckin ugly"
In all my life, I've never been called that
And I've been called a lot of things
I've even had someone tell me to kill myself
But never has someone said that to me
And I laughed it off, but honestly
It hurt a lot... 
And I needed to say that.

I just found out that one of my friends...
A father figure really
Is very sick...
And I don't quite know how to process that yet
Because I'm really shaken up about it
And I guess that's all I can even really say about it
Because I don't know how to feel
Or what to do, or say...

The person that I used to be closest to
Is pushing me out of their life
Entirely, from the look of it.
And I don't want to be a burden
So I'm just going to let it happen
And hope that someday soon
She'll realize I only want to be there for her...
And maybe she'll realize too
That this really, really hurts me
Only I'm not going to say anything more.

Then, there's this guy
Who makes me smile all the time
Even when he isn't trying to
Except I want to believe he is trying to...
There are a bazillion things I could say here
But I won't... for a few reasons
I don't want to give too much away
Because I never say anything
When it comes to boys...
Because wanna know a secret?

I've never actually been on a date...
I mean, I had a boyfriend
But we were always just... together
I've never actually dated
And I'm disappointed in this...

But for once,
I want to be a better person
I want to be happier and healthier
And I want to work harder to be better
But not perfect. 
I finally figured out I'm never going to be
And someone WILL pick me, just for me.

Tonight was a pretty weather night.
The snow was light on the ground
It was cold, but not windy...
And the flakes that fell were the happy, fluffy kind
That you can catch on your tongue. 
It's the kind of snow that falls lightly into your hair
Or into your face,
Waiting for a kind hand to brush it away. 

It's the kind of snow that makes me want to hold someone
To hug someone and tell them
That everything will be okay
Even if it isn't right now. 
It was the kind of snow that I wish I had memories of...
Of someone coming up to me, 
Taking me by the hand
And telling me that it's okay to feel happy and sad at the same time
And that it's enough to just be feeling with my whole heart

I want it to be one of those movie moments...
Where I'm standing there, staring at the snow
And I hear someone come up behind me
But as I turn to see who it is, 
I'm already in his arms
And I'm seeing the snow fall into his hair...
Getting stuck in his eyelashes
Watching how his eyes sparkle
And his whole face lights up when he smiles...

I know it's dorky sounding
But to me, it sounds... 
It sounds right and soft and wonderful
Like it's what I've always wanted
And one day, I'll get it. 

Even though I didn't sleep much last night, 
I'm so very, very awake right now...
Because I'd be disappointed to fall asleep
And not dream about the things I just said.

So if you listened this far, thank you. 
Because it means a lot that you're listening.

So There's This Boy...

Okay, so I refuse to be upset

There is giant list of terrible things

That have been upsetting me

For several days now

But I don't want this post to be 

Depressing and sullen... 

It's going to be a happy one...

Okay, so there's this boy...

I don't think he reads this, 

Nor does anyone else that knows him

But I'm going to be intentionally vague

Just in case...

Anyway, for a long time

I haven't really been interested

In anyone... 

No one seemed particularly special

So I didn't push the issue...

But now, I found a boy...

And he's adorable

Sweet, funny, kind...

I'm not going to say a lot...

Again, we're going for vague...

Suffice it to say I have a dreadful crush

On this perfectly lovely boy...

And it makes me smile :)

20th Birthday Reflections

So, I just wanted to take a moment

And share how wonderfully my Birthday went.

I was out of rehearsal by 5:15 

Left Kent by 5:30...

Got home at 6:45, took a shower

Went to the movies...

Jess, Sondra, two of her friends, and I 

Went to go see Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Which was wonderful

And absolutely HILARIOUS...

It was a lovely evening.

Then, Saturday my Mom made me a cake

And got ice cream

And she sang Happy Birthday

I got to blow out candles...

And we watched a movie

And played Scrabble

And she made me a grilled cheese

And nobody fought

And it was wonderful.

Then, Nikki, Britt and I went out to dinner

At Olive Garden

Because it's my favorite

And they both got along

And Brittany actually talked to us

And stayed off the phone

For the most part...

The waiters and waitresses sang to me

And it was funny and wonderful.

Then, we all went back to their house

And their Mom had gotten a cake for me.

And they sang Happy Birthday 

And then they sang it in Dutch

Because that's how their family does it

And I blew out more candles

And it was wonderful.

Then Sunday, I went to Celia's

And I got to see her

And little T.J.

Who is 7 months old

And not so little anymore

And I did laundry.  

We chatted and swapped clothes

And watched Charlie Brown

And it was wonderful...

Then I had rehearsal from 7-11

Which went rather well

And I got to be the mean character

And use my big girl voice.  

Afterwards, I went and brought a slushie back for Connie

Who had fallen asleep at her desk

And Jaymee brought me a blueberry muffin.

And then I parked my car,

Came back here, answered all my messages

On email and facebook, etc.

Then decided to write about how absolutely perfect

My weekend was...

And how for once, everything was wonderful.

Taking a Few Moments

It's 2:50 p.m.

I know... I never post at normal hours...

This is big for me...

I missed French this morning

Beacause I had a really weird dream...

I feel the need to share it...

So my friend Tabi and I were on this boat 

Because one of the girls I went to high school with was getting married

It wasn't even a girl I was friends with
And the bridesmaids were wearing white and yellow striped cotton dresses

And the bride had on a matching shirt but like a white flowy cotton skirt 

It was just weird how much I actually remember from it...

Anyway, I got lost from Tabi

And some guy took my cell phone 

But I finally got it back, called her, 

And she said to meet her at the elevator

So we got on, and it must've been a tall boat, 

Because we were going up and up and up, 

But all of a sudden it stopped and the doors opened, 

And it was just wall... 

Like, we were between floors 

So we panicked and decided not to touch anything 

And just stay really still... 

The doors closed most of the way, 

And it started going up really slowly, 

But we looked up and the floor thing said [147] 

Then all of a sudden it was [59] 

So I said, "Why did it drop so fast?" 

And then the elevator just fell... 

And I remember hitting bottom and it just being black.... 

It was like I was conscious just long enough 

To know Tabi died and that I was going to... 

And thank God Tabi finally texted me

To ask why I wasn't in French

Because it vibrated against the duty radio 

Loud enough to finally wake me up 

Because the alarm on my phone wasn't doing it

So that was my dream, 

And it really freaked me out...

So I missed French...

And now I'm going to go practice piano

Go to my last two classes

And then hopefully go see a play tonight.

Wow... I'm Big on 1:00 a.m. Posts...

So the time is now 1:08 a.m.

It's October 25, the weekend before Halloween

Which is when the bars in Kent celebrate

And instead of going downtown

And having all sorts of fun

I love looking at costumes...

I am on duty...

I am also on duty next weekend...

Anyway, we've done three rounds already

And not written anyone up 

Knock on wood...

I went shopping this morning with Dani and Connie

To get ready for our Ghost Walk program.

Rehearsal got cancelled Friday,

So I got to go to staff dinner...

And today, in between rounds, 

I watched a movie with Aaron, 

Then another by myself...

I rearranged my room

And cleaned...

Got some groceries...

It's been an incredibly long and productive day...

And one of the better ones that I've had

Besides a few puzzling text messages...

I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle that...

But anyway... I just want to finish duty

Go to bed...

And not get woken up until tomorrow...

Seasons, Like Feelings, Change

I Didn't Ask for Change

Gaze out, across rooftops bathed in night

As golden leaves fall, and the old year dies,

Gives way to Autumn... to Winter

To a state of mind best left untouched

Which holds me fast in Winter's icy grip

Even when the Summer sun surrounds me...

Let the shortened days and lengthened nights

Be dark... just not of spirit

I don't want to be the only person in your life

I only want to be the one you don't want to leave

I never asked for you to let me go

So I'll keep one foot in the door,

But keep the other poised to run...

Never thought I'd feel alone

Surrounded by so many

Where no one touches 

And there are no soft moments

I just need someone to take my hand

And show me, not just say

That everything will be alright.

I don't want to see every day as another battle...

I want to write pretty things again.

Yet Another 1:00 a.m.

Okay, so it's not that late... yet

But I'll be up awhile longer...

I have a fifteen page paper due Thursday

Which I started this afternoon...

I don't know why I waited so long...

I just did...

I'll be honest, things have been real hard lately.

It's like I'm running down a path

And I can't stop, even though I can see a drop-off ahead...

It's almost like I want to fall...

Anyway, I have that paper

Plus French homework that I have to do

But I'm taking a few minutes to write this blog...

Because I feel like I HAVE to...

I tried telling someone how I feel...

How I don't think about good things anymore

How I'm generally an unhappy person

And I'm just too tired to keep pretending...

About how all the crap I do, 

How busy I am

Is really just a charade to make it look like

I have a life, and a purpose

Is just an empty shell...

That even though I enjoy doing those things,

I mostly do it because

If I stopped for two seconds

I'd just sink deeper into misery...

I tried telling her about how I wish it would all stop...

Not that I'd do anything...

But I really just don't want to feel this way

Anymore...

And you know what?

She didn't listen...

She told me she didn't want other people's stress

And that me talking that way made her feel sick...

Even though I've ALWAYS listened to her

Whether I agreed or not...

So now one of the few people I trusted to listen

To tell me it's okay

To tell me that even though I feel like I want to die

That I should never, never think that way

That I'm important and loved and needed

Prettymuch sent me away...

And that's where I'm at right now...

I'm going to post another blog

With a poem I've been working on...

And then get back to the French homework

And the paper...

Real Quick...

Okay, so I should be doing homework

That's a lie...

It's almost 2:30 in the morning...

I should be asleep...

But I'm doing French homework...

Not really, but I will...

Anyway... I just finished a book...

It by Stephen King

Which I have always meant to finish

And finally have

All I have to say is, 

The movie (Which I loved before)

Does not do the book justice

And I don't know how I feel about it now...

There are so many stories

And issues that the movie never shows

Some not as important

But others which would have made the movie

Much more understandable

And then still other things

That I think should have been included...

For instance, how It came to earth

And some of the stories with the bullies

And what happened with Beverly and the boys...

Ugh...

Either way, I've finished the book

Finally...

And now I'm off to do French homework...

It's Been Forever Since I've REALLY Written

So I realized tonight, that the last thing I wrote was in January, as a Valentine's Day gift, and I haven't written anything creative since then... This made me sad, so I attempted to bang something out... I'm a little rusty, but here it is...

When the Wind Stops Talking

As my heavy lidded eyes close,

Yield to sleep, believing your arms

Will be strong enough

To hold me, and the moment, forever

To never let it end

That you'll never, never

Let the wind take me away

The cold wind borne on the midnight sky

Will whisper secrets our ears aren't supposed to hear

But, I'll hear what it says

And I'm not sure if I should

Because the wind will give me all the answers

To questions I never wanted to ask

Because for once, inquiring minds don't want to know

So, you'll take my hand, you'll lead me away

To some other place, and some other year

Where who we are won't matter

So finally, I'll step outside into midnight air

And the eerie stillness will have no power

I won't want to know how to change things

It'll be enough that the wind never takes me from you

Tada... there you go... at least it's something... it felt good to write again... I just also wanted to mention briefly that I read Brisingr, the next book in what was supposed to the the Inheritance trilogy, but apparently, it's going to be four books now, which pissed me off... I just wanna know the end of the damn story!

Why Yes, I Did Steal This From Allie's Blog...

- Choose a singer/band.
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band.

I pick The Beatles!

1. Are you male or female?
"Girl"

2. Describe Yourself?

"I'm a Loser"

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
"Too Much Monkey Business"

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
"It's Only Love"

5. Describe your current relationship?

"Lonesome Tears in My Eyes"

6. Where would you want to be now?
"Across the Universe"

7. How do you feel about love?
"All You Need is Love"

8. What is your life like?
"Crying, Waiting, Hoping"

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
"Every Little Thing"

10. Say something wise.
"Tomorrow Never Knows"

11. What's your relationship with your family like?
"Helter Skelter"

12. What would you do for your friends?
"All I've Got to Do"

13. What do you think of the world?
"It Won't Be Long"

14. What kind of person are you?
"I Want to Tell You"

15. Is there anything you want to forget?
"I Should Have Known Better"

16. What time is it?
"A Hard Day's Night"

I Did It!

So the other day

On a lark

I tried out for a play

And the theater kids were there

But I tried anyway

And I got the part!!!

Woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm excited.

That's all that I have to say!

Those Pictures I Promised

Potato sack racing... Our staff won this game!

End of training banquet... Don't we look spiffy?

My lovely staff on staff olympics day... P.S.  Dan is our boss... the curly haired one in the back in the blue shirt...

This is Check-In, day 2...  Can you guess who's inside the squirrel costume?

I Guess I Have Some Time...

Judd had to go to a wedding,

So I'm covering day duty for him...

I've got the noon to three break

So I'm sitting down to write another post

Because heaven knows it's been awhile...

This semester has been crazy

RAwise, at least...

There have been a lot of little things...

Like calling police... twice

And paramedics

Going to the hospital

Mopping up vomit

Etc. Etc...

Classes are lovely though... 

I love most of them

Really, all of them

Except my statistics course.

But I hate math, so... 

That's why

 

Piano and ballet are lovely

But I had to skip last ballet

Because that coincided with

Paramedics and hospital...

Dance as an Art Form is interesing...

The teacher is very passionate about it.

Same with Honors Black Experience.

Our professor wants to hear what we think...

Not hear what he wants to hear,

Regurgitated back at him...

Which is refreshing.

Deviant Behavior is wonderful

Again, because the teacher is passionate

Not to mention, he allows it to be fun

And the subject matter is really interesting to me.

Then Intermediate French I...

Which is with my friend Tabi

But it's French...

Which is not one of my strong points...

But I'm still trying...

I think I'm gonna post some pictures...

From training, and of my new tattoo.

Have a lovely day!

Looooong Day

It's finally Wednesday night...
We've done check-ins the last two days.
This is how today went:

Check-ins
Rocked the squirrel costume
More check-ins
Floor meeting
Danced my flash off!

I am EXHAUSTED...
My day started at 7:00
This morning...

I just want to say
I LOVE my new staff...
I'm excited for the RA-ness this year!

Ugh...

I just realized
That all the posts
Thus far

Are in
The wrong
Time zone...

This makes me
ANGRY
Because it's
Wrong...

Darnit.

Ah, The Joys of the Desk...

Ah, behold the joys of the midnight to 4 a.m. shift...
Fueled by energy drinks, and driven to stay awake
Mostly because they'll fire me if I don't...
I embark on a wonderful continuation of my shift...

MonsterKhaos is actually a tasty energy drink...
Mostly they taste like Hell... but that one was good...
BAWLs is lined up for hte next few hours...
The only problem is not being allowed to leave the desk...
And eventually, I will have to pee... this is the problem...

In between blogging, and chatting with a friend
About relationship crises... exactly my cup of tea...
I'm watching The X-Files... I'm on disc 2 of season 2...
And in case you care, the new movie comes out Friday.

This will most likely be my last post for a few weeks...
I work 12-4, then 10-1 tomorrow... and then I'm on duty
Friday I have to do a key pull for a conference
Then I work 4-10 at night, and I'm leaving for home

Uncle Danny (who I haven't seen in years and years)
Is having a party, and for reasons unknown and miraculous
My parents actually WANT to go... They never do family stuff...
So that's what we're doing Saturday... then heading home

By Sunday afternoon, I should be Johnson's Island bound...
Nothing but relaxation, and family time for a week...
One whole glorious, wonderful week without desk shifts...
No lockouts or AC problems, no noise violations, no checkouts...

I only have to get through the rest of this week... that's all
Because after a week of vaction, I'm pretty sure that no matter
What happens in the end of the summer semester, I can handle it
The rest and relaxation is all that I need... and I can't wait

For now, I'm going to wrap up this blog post...
The X-Files is getting pretty interesting...
Mulder is making out with vampire chick
And vampire dude is PISSED...

The plot thickens... dun dun dunnnn
Time to watch the episode
And drink my other energy drink
An hour and a half to go...

Desk Shift # 36,274

Blarggh.....I take that back...
Double BLARRRGGGHHH!

Working yet another desk shift...
This time, I'm working on what should be my break
Because I'm on weekend duty
But because it's the holiday weekend,
No one else wanted to work...
And hey, why ruin their holiday too?

Anyway, I'm working 10-2 today
And I was on duty the last two nights...
I'm on tonight as well
And then desk 10-2 tomorrow,
And the other desk from 8-12 at night.
All this makes for a lovely (ugh) 4th of July weekend.

There were some good things...
Brittany and Nicole came up to visit me
And we went out to dinner...
Though we had to hurry back
Because I was on duty...
We played with sparklers
And Gregg from the desk joined us for a little...
I try to brighten everyone's crappy holidays...

At any rate, I got through the night...
Now only one more to go...
On the brighter side,
All this has given me much more time
To read more books!

Seven A.M. Can Blow Me...

So... it's 7:30 in the morning...
And I am working the desk...
Until 4:00 tonight...
And that makes me want to cry
Because I am on duty tonight...
Which means I will not be sleeping
For quite some time...
And if you know me at all,
I like me some sleep...

So anyway, this has been a long week.
I had a lovely weekend with Connie.
We went to lovely Vermilion
And walked around the Fish Festival
All day Saturday...
And we did not think about the desk
Or duty... Or the millions of other things
That were waiting for us back in Kent...
We just had fun.
We ate lots of junk food, and went to the beach
And picked up fun rocks and things like that.

When we stopped at my house
So my Dad could put my new license plates
On my new car (new enough, anyway...)
My Mom and Dad both appeared to be
NORMAL
And if you know my parents at all
You could understand my apprehension
At introducing someone new to them.
But they were nice...
And like normal parents
And it was strange, and it made me happy
Even if it was only a one time occurance.

I took pictures, and soon I will post them
Because it was a lovely fun time.
But it still doesn't make today suck any less...

Settled In

So it's June now,
And all our summer school students
Moved in yesterday.

The halls are full
And they're all bright eyed
And bushy tailed.
It's good to have people here again.

At night
It gets all quiet...
Like the wind is whispering secrets
Only they're the ones
You were never supposed to hear.
And it feels lonely.
Very lonely.
But now it's populated
And pleasant.

Anyway, I'm totally settled in now
At least, I think I am.
I'm going home Saturday
For the Fish Festival...
Connie is going to come too
And we're going to eat fair food.
And not think about the residence halls
Or the desk
Or anything besides fun.

Have a nice evening!

An RA's Nightmare...

So today, I managed to put up 4 bulletin boards.
I got all my butcher block paper
From the Korb office,
And I moved a fridge and microwave to my room.
Right now I am cooking dinner

On top of this, I still have:
Room Condition Reports (RCRs) for 2 1/2 floors
Which means about 50-60 rooms
And Door decs
For the same number...

Back in my normal building, I have about 40 girls
And 20 rooms... One bulletin board
Maybe two, depending on whose turn it is
To do the middle board.

So this building
And this summer
May just be
A little taste
Of Hell.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

Busy Bee...

I know I haven't posted much
I only had a few days off
Before I headed back to campus
For the summer RA job
Which has been crazy so far.

Right now, I'm home
For the last time in awhile, probably.
And I'm sitting here
Enjoying the ice cream cone Mommy made me
Which has strawberry in the bottom
Vanilla in the middle
And chocolate on top
Just like it used to when I was little.
We made apple pie too
Which is in the oven.
It's been a good weekend.

I got a new car.
A '99 Mercury Sable.
It's red, and it doesn't break down
And all the windows work
And it has air conditioning
And a radio...
Needless to say, it's a vast improvement on the last car...

Well, I have to be getting ready to head back to school...
Everyone have a lovely summer!

Finally...

Here are the pictures I said I would post forever ago...

Isn't he gorgeous?

Ugh... It Never Ends

Sorry, finally taking some time
To get back to my blog.
There were some slight delays...

Friday morning I had to go to the hospital.
No, I did not eat Chipotles...
I hate that place.

I have kidney stones...
The worst part of this currently
Is that I'm not allowed to drink any caffiene
Or carbonation
And I'm not really even supposed to drink sugar.

In the last five days, I'm fairly certain
That the amount of water that I've drunk
Would irrigate Death Valley.
I drank part of a Pepsi on Sunday night...
Not even half
And half a cup of coffee... if that
Because I had to drive home late.
And now I'm sipping at Cranberry-Grape juice...

Other than that... WATER
AND I'm in caffiene withdrawal...

On a happier sidenote, the baptism went well.
Little Thomas Joseph III is a member of his church.
Hope you all have a lovely week.

So It's Come to This...

I realized I haven't posted in a few weeks.
Anyway, here it goes.

The last few days have been absolutely gorgeous
Really, extraordinarily nice, pretty weather days
And Tabi and I have done a lot of walking because of it.
Today we walked to get our nails done.

Anyway, last weekend I finally got to see the baby.
He's gorgeous, in case you were wondering
And I think Celia looks beautiful as a mommy
Although she also looks very tired...
Thomas is being baptized this weekend...

This weekend is also Little Sibs,
And I have my cousin Kaitlyn coming up.
I'm hoping that she has fun...
I know I will, they're having a petting zoo!
I'm such a little kid...

For now, I have to get to bed.
I've got homework to finish tomorrow
Before I go pick her up...
And I have to get up for Pilates in the morning.

I hope you all have a wonderful evening.

Updates, Updates, Updates...

In case you were wondering,
Vagina Monologues was awesome.
I performed all my parts really well...
Even the ones I learned last minute...
Dani got me a flower
Because she is an awesome floor mate like that.

This weekend was nice...
I didn't get to see the baby
But I did spend a nice relaxing evening
At home
With my Mom...
Even though I was sick
It was okay
Because she brought me my pop
In a fancy glass
Like she used to when I was little
And I was sick.

I got the new Panic! At the Disco CD
And I really like it
Even though it's a different sound from the first...
They were on SNL last night...
So was Christopher Walken,
And I laughed a lot.

Here's hoping I stop being sick
This week!

Taking a Few Moments...

I don't have much time
I have to leave for class
In the next five minutes...
But I just wanted to say
That today is day two
Back from Spring Break
Which was relaxing, in a way
But one of the kids infected me
And I've been sick all week...

But anyway,
I actually went to class
ALL my classes
Today... which is...
Amazing, really

And I finalized my plans
For next year...
I have my schedule planned out
And I schedule on Thursday.
I'll post that another time.

Also, since The Vagina Monologues
Was cancelled,
Due to the snow...
They're trying to reschedule it.
For April 11, I think
And I got another part to play
Because one of the girls can't be there.

Also, I got some really good
Records from my Aunt.
They were just sitting in the attic.
But more about those later.
I have to leave for class.

Have a nice day!

Day One

So, it's day one of Spring Break
Here at the Borgio house.
I'm staying with my Aunt and Uncle
And they have a whole herd of little ones.
Seven, four, and one
And a two year old on the weekends.

My Aunt Denise is the strongest person I know.
I don't know how she takes care of the kids.

I hope that when I grow up, I can be
HALF the mom she is
Because she taught me that
There's always space
For one more
In your home,
And in your heart.

Goodnight, everyone!

Mother Nature Can Blow Me

Due to the ridiculous amount of snow
The Vagina Monologues is
CANCELLED.

This sucks.

Killing Time

It's 3:21 p.m. on Saturday
Vagina Monologues opens tonight.
Dani helped me with my hair
And right now I'm just killing time
Before I do my makeup...
Because it's going to be a lot,
And I'm not looking forward to it

Plus, my eyes are extremely dry
And I can't do my makeup
Because I have to put my contacts back in first
I had to take them out...

There's a level 12 blizzard outside
Which looks extremely menacing.
I'm hoping they don't cancel the show
Because I'd be pissed.
As for now, I'm watching a movie
The Halloween Tree
And drinking tea...

Production Week

The Vagina Monologues is this weekend
Saturday at 8:00 p.m.
And Sunday at 2:00 p.m.
It's an extremely hectic week.

Anyway, I just wanted to post a few things.
I went Goodwill shopping yesterday
And I got 4 new records
One was broken, but I taped the very edges
Where the needle doesn't touch
And just held the record in place
And it still plays... Woo!

I also found scrubs, which I needed
For a costume
Plus, they seem pretty comfy
So I might have to come up with other reasons
For wearing scrubs...

The weather is slightly nicer today
And that makes me smile.
I hope it keeps getting nicer.

Hope to see you at Vagina Monologues this weekend!

Insomnia... Whee!

I couldn't fall asleep
So I decided that this was the best sedative
Because whenever I write
It feels like I get something off my chest
And hopefully I'll sleep better this way.

I'm just really annoyed right now
Because a lot of people
Get away with a lot of stuff
Mostly because no one says anything to them
And it really really bothers me
Because it makes the rest of us
Work twice as hard to pick up the slack

And I never say anything
Because I don't want to be "that" person...
The bitchy one, you know?
So unfortunately, I often end up as that other person...
The doormat.
And I'm trying not to be...
But it's hard sometimes...

I always want to be able to help everyone
And I want to be everyone's friend
So I generally put myself out there...
But people don't always return the favor
And I'm not good about asking them to...

But I did take a step in that direction...
Not really calling them up on their IOU
But rather a polite request...
With a little sprinkling of guilt

I'm also annoyed with people
Who don't show up when they're supposed to
Because some of us,
For example, me
Are freaking out worrying about what will happen
And then end up taking on waaaaay to much responsibility.

Switching topics here...
Because I don't have anything else to say
About the previous topic...
Well, I do...
But no one wants to listen to me rant for a year and a half...

I don't write very much anymore
And that makes me sad...
I don't know what I want to write anymore.
And I would think that I should have
More inspiration now than ever...
But it just doesn't come...

Hopefully that's enough
For me to be able to go to sleep now.
Goodnight.

This Literally is My Cup of Tea

Office hours, woohoo!

Normally, I would be agitated.

But being confined to my room

Forces me to find things to do in it.

I could knit...

I have a baby blanket to finish...

Miss Celia Elizabeth is a little over

7 months at the moment....

And she's absolutely beautiful!

But as for now, I'm just procrastinating...

Drinking a cup of tea, and blogging

Instead of doing the homework I should be doing...

It's Fun for Adults Too!

Everyone thinks that kids are the only ones
That can enjoy snow days...

NOT TRUE!
Today, the weather was bad enough
For even colleges to cancel classes!
I got to sleep in...
A lot of people went sledding
And there was a huge snowball fight
On the Centenniel Greens...

The football team versus everyone...
I opted not to join in...
But my friend Tabi still managed to get hit
By one of their snowballs...
There were a couple snowforts around
And a handful of snowmen too
But the best thing that I saw
As immature as it may be,
Was a giant snow penis
Complete with snowballs...
And they used twigs for little hairs.

A tad juvenile, yes...
But still hilarious!

I'm hoping for yet another snow day tomorrow
But it probably won't happen.
As for now, I'm just watching cartoons
And enjoying a cup of tea.

Have a nice day!

Things Are Lookin Up

Well, after a terrible weekend
And a week that sucked,
Which exploded in horridness
On Wednesday
When Jess and I broke up...
Sucked until Saturday evening...

Last night I went out
With Ty and Halles
To Akron Musica
At the Mocha Maiden
And we saw Abby Kondas
And David Ullman perform
Who are both AMAZING

This of course,
Was AFTER we drove around
Downtown Akron for an hour
Because Ty was lost.
It was hilarious though.

We got home at about quarter till 2
At which point I fell asleep
Almost immediately, which is hard for me
And slept until 10:30 this morning.
So soundly that I did not hear my phone
Which I feel bad about...

Then I got showered and dressed, etc.
And ended up going to the movies
By myself, to see Juno
Again.
It's a wonderful movie, by the way.
It's the first time I've gone to the movies alone
And I have to say, it was fun
Really relaxing.

Anyway, later Dani and I
Are going to have dinner,
And then it'll be back to classes
Again tomorrow morning.

So this weekend was a good one.
And I'm hoping things keep looking up.

The Starfish Story

When I was in high school
My favorite teacher told me this story
And it's stayed with my ever since.

Thank you for letting me know
That I can make a difference

A man was walking along a beach after a storm.
The storm had caused the tide to push a bunch of starfish onto the beach,
So the man was picking them up, and putting them back in the water
As he walked along.

Soon, another man came up to him
And asked why he was doing that.
"You'll never make a difference." he told him.
"The next high tide, they'll be right back up on the beach."

The first man looked at him in silence for a moment
Then he bent down, and picked up another starfish.
He threw it into the water.
"I just made a difference to that one."

Something I've Meant to Do

For those of you who don't know,

I am addicted to tattoos and piercings.
I love them, I think they're amazing.

Here are the pictures of those that I have so far.

The first one I got on my eighteenth birthday.

November 8, 2006

The words are from the song they played

At my Great-Grandma's funeral.

I used to pick flowers for the grownups

While my cousins would sneak cigarettes.

The second one I got on December 2, 2006

My mom used to call me Boo-Boo

And she would sing me to sleep.

The third one I got December 30, 2007

It's just a little heart to remind me

That my heart should never be

Too far removed from my actions

And I should be compassionate.

This is my latest tattoo.

I got it January 19, 2008.
It's because of the starfish story

Which I'll post another blog about.

Besides that, I have my nose and tongue pierced.

Plus, four holes in my left ear

And three in my right.

And I want more!

Meditation

This is my second post today!
Wow! Usually it takes me forever
To post anything.

Anyway, I want to tell you about this website.
We used it during RA training.
Basically, it's this guided meditation thing,
Where someone reads this little scenario
And you follow along with it.

Training was pretty stressful,
So I was really skeptical about this
But it was honestly lovely.

I think you should try it.
You might really like it.

http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm

I recommend it
Especially "Fulfill Your Own Potential"
Which sounds very corny,
But honestly, it's wonderful!

Cerulean Autumn

This is a poem that I wrote last year, and I came across it today.
I really like this one, which is odd, because I usually hate all I write.
But it was a nice little dose of summertime, because I still remember
What I saw that made me write this poem, and it was beautiful.
Anyway, here it is; Cerulean Autumn

After days of gray skies
Wind, rain, hail, snow
Arrives a day of fairness
The red and gold of the leaves
In contrast with the cerulean,
Not only of the sky
But of a little girl's dress
As she stands, arms outstretched
As a ballerina, or a princess
Descending stairs at court

The woman beside her,
Little more than a child herself
Lifts her up, watches with caring eyes
Walks similarly alonside,
Arms also outstretched
As the little girl balances on the ledge,
Now a trapeze artist

This little girl in blue
The beauty of her innocence
Now greater than that of the sky
Or the fairness of the weather
While she enjoys, as I do,
This gorgeous indian summer

A New Beginning

I had to delete my old blog...
Confusion with email addresses....

Anyway, this is my new blog.
I can't really write an actual post
Not at the moment, anyway
Because I have a paper
That MUST be written.