Wow... That's It?

So, this past weekend, I graduated from college...

I'm the first of my family to do so, which is really exciting.

I'm working DKS for the summer,

And then in the fall, I'll start graduate school.

It's just so weird to me to be done with it all...

I know I'm still a college student...

And on one hand, I don't feel like it's over at all

But on the other hand, it feels strange to say I'm a graduate.

Went to the endocrinologist today...

They did more blood tests,

And scheduled me for another appointment in two weeks.

They want to do an ultrasound on my thyroid

Because apparently there's some enlargement that happened pretty quick

And they may possibly do a biopsy...

Biopsy is NOT a word that I'm excited about.

Meanwhile, they're keeping on the same meds,

At least for the next two weeks

And my doctor is insisting I take vitamins...

Needless to say, it was a long (2 hours at the doctor) day

But A.J. and I went to World Market and the mall after

And that was nice...

I guess I'm kind of scared that they'll find something on the ultrasound...

I know what "biopsy" usually goes along with

So it's kind of scary...

Time for bed now.

Goodnight.

Can You See The Time?

For those of you that don't know the time of this post (or what time it is now, for that matter)

It's 6:19 a.m. Which I think means ante-meridian

I'm not really sure... either way, I'm kind of jittery... Which is an accomplishment

Because I didn't have anything with caffeine in it.

Nope, this is just good ol' fashioned sleep deprivation

You may be asking yourself why I haven't been to bed yet

Well, I can tell you, very succinctly, in two words.

Finals week.

I just finished a paper on transnational migration and the way that it affects children, because children have no say in most of the aspects of what makes a person successful anywhere... It has to do with this French guy named Bourdieu, and I wrote 12 and a half pages about it, and I'd love to tell you about it but my brain cannot explain it to you right now. Because before I wrote that paper, I wrote five pages on the 1960's and how it both succeeded and failed. And last night, I wrote a six page paper about banned and challenged children's literature, then woke up and went and took that final... And this afternoon I did a project for Black Images. And today and tomorrow I will be writing an eight-page paper about the Native American schools like Carlisle and how it affected women.

Actually, all I really want to do is sleep, but I can turn my paper in between 7:45 and 10:00 a.m. and I'm worried that if I try and sleep now, I won't get back up in time to turn in the paper. And that would be really really bad.

Listening to My Crazy

So today my boyfriend posted Youtube videos online

And it's him playing guitar and his friend Sondra singing.

I'll start with positives...

He plays really well, and her voice is so gorgeous.

The videos are just beautiful, honestly.

It's just hard for me, because even though she's with another guy

And they say that they're like a brother and sister

(Jess is not a cheater, and I know he wouldn't do that)

It's really hard for me to watch these videos...

In fact, I almost cried all over the place...

Because she seems like a better fit for him...

As they sit there singing songs that I don't know

With an equal talent and love for music

And I sit here, not able to carry a tune in a bucket

Looking at how pretty she is, and how beautiful they sound together.

It makes me feel less than adequate

Which is basically how I've been feeling about a lot of things lately

And I understand that I'm just being nuts,

And that he's with me because he wants to be

It's still hard to see.

Updates

This is a quick post, because I've got things to do today.

Horrible things happened with work. I cried a lot about it,

But it's fixed now, or as fixed as it can be.

And it turned out that it wasn't quite as bad as I thought it was.

I found a dress for the Rezzies.

It may not be as nice and expensive as all the other girls

(One of my staff members told me she spent $80 on hers, but that was okay, because she could wear it to a wedding later... I sheepishly explained I justified the $25 I spent on mine because I'd wear it for graduation and possibly my party too... being poor sucks)

But I like the way it looks, and (mostly) the way I look in it.

Also, I've read thirty books this year thus far,

Not counting textbooks and professional journals and all that jazz

Plus the endless amounts of picture books I've now gone through...

Either way, I'm excited.

Now I'm off, because I just got done with two days of duty

So I'm showering and then going to see Bree and AJ