Two Posts in a Day...

I know, right? Nothing for such a long time, and all of a sudden I'm a blogging machine! Well, I'm on duty tonight, and I try to stay up at least until midnight on those nights, just in case... Also, I really don't want to read for homework yet. Thus the blogging community is stuck with my thoughts.

So I feel a little bit bad complaining about all this... As you saw by my last post, (if you do read this) that I'm thrilled to death that Jon decided to stay with me. He's moved in, and we're really making this apartment a home as much as we can. He gave up a lot to stay while I finish my graduate degree, and I cannot be thankful enough for that. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that there wasn't something on my mind that's really bugging me...

I will be 23 in nine days. When my mother was 23, she gave birth to me. I know this isn't necessarily the best standard to live by, but I'm terrified that my time to have children, to be able to play with them and be the cool mom, is rapidly slipping away.

It honestly seems like all my friends, even the ones that don't want it, are where I WANT to be. They have kids, lives, husbands... Felicia is 18 years old, still finishing high school, and is engaged with plans for a summer wedding. Is it jealousy? Of course it is! I want everything that all my friends have...

I love Jon and I am ready for forever. Now that I really know how much I love him, forever just doesn't seem like long enough, and the days are disappearing so quickly, I don't want them to go. I want the ring, and the house, the white picket fence, and the dog and the yard... I want the pitter patter of feet. I want the "American dream" and I'm so sick and tired of waiting...

Thank you for listening to my whiney nonsense...