I watched a drunk girl roll around on the bathroom floor
Mumbling incoherently about some guy
"Call _____ he knows what he's doing..."
And as her friends try to get her to leave, she starts again...
"No... baby, baby, baby..."
I'd seen enough.
Finishing rounds, we found an unopened can of beer in the stairwell
We're not allowed to touch it
So we called security to have them dump it out.
Thank goodness I didn't do it
Because when the poor guy opened the can
It exploded all over him...
Move the clocks forward to 2:00 a.m.
Calling to let them know I'm going on rounds,
They ask me to come mop up a soda spill in the hallway
Because, "It's closer to you then us."
I assume "us" is security... And apparently security don't know distances
But whatever, mopped up the soda.
Returned everything to the slop closet...
Had this odd feeling that I was going to be back...
Went on rounds... things went well for awhile
No drunk girls in the bathroom...
No noise, no soda...
And there it was... VOMIT
Outside the bathroom door on the third floor
It was gross... There were onions in it.
Long story short, cleaned that up.
Scrubbed floor.
Returned biohazard bag to slop closet.
It's now after 3:00 in the morning
And I'm trying to go to sleep...
Dreaming of sleeping through the morning half of my shift...
Almost made it...
It's 1:20 p.m. and I'm laying in bed
And there's a knock at the door...
Two girls telling me that someone pooped in the hallway
Outside their room...
So, another long story short, I scrubbed that up
And scrubbed everything off the radiator
And cleaned up all the nasty paper towels...
So, this is why my job makes me crazy.
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