In Gratitude

I don't have long to type, because it's already after midnight, and I have some reading that I have to get done before class tomorrow...

I just wanted to take a moment to say that I truly have the greatest friends in the world, and one day, I will pay them back a thousand times over, because they are truly wonderful, and they deserve it. I love them, and I hope with all my heart they know that.

I Never Thought I'd Say This...

I wish RA training would get here...

I miss everyone, and I want them back.

That's all I really had to say.

I Think This Poem is Finally Done...

They're all telling me to speak up,

Say anything, let you know I'm here

Let you know what I feel... What I've felt

But I can't make them understand

That I can't even see your car nearby

Without getting butterflies... feeling happy

I can't make them see how every little thing

You've ever said, or done, or made me feel

Is in a notebook in my head

And I go over it, line-by-line, moment-by-moment

While I stare at the ceiling in the dark

Telling myself that I've fashioned mountains out of molehills

And they're all telling me to

Cast off, dive in, test the waters

But no matter how much I despise the metaphors

(Especially because I know you think they’re overdone)

I can't help but think it's too late

Because I'm already drowning in your eyes

So that when the darkness closes and sleep finally comes

I get to dwell, for a few hours each night

In the imaginary world where you know everything

You know how I feel, what I've always felt

And you do the little things I dream about...

Holding my hand, or waking me up in the morning

And they're all telling me to tell you,

Because nothing ventured is nothing gained

And you can't win if you don't play the game

But I can't make them understand that for now

It's enough to make believe I already won

Because when I dream, you never say we won't be together

Mostly, they don't understand that everything they say

All the advice they're giving me

Is nothing I haven't already told myself

Because I've tried a million times to stop analyzing,

Cease this pointless scrutinizing and dissection of old memories

And make new ones...

Another Day, Another Dollar

It's 5:45 p.m. on a Monday, and I'm working yet another desk shift for Early Arrivals... Which tonight, is actually nice, because I could use the hours, and it'll give me a chance to tell you about this weekend!

So, even though I worked a lot, my 4th of July weekend was actually fairly nice. The day started out a little late, but I drove out to Uncle Ed's in Hiram. I got to see all my Aunts, Uncles and cousins... Gillian was really excited and stayed with me the whole time. We went kayaking, paddleboating, and swimming in the pond. It was good to see them, because I missed Thanksgiving and Easter because of work. Aunt Denise told me that Gillian asked her, "Doesn't Amanda like us anymore?" So I knew I had to go, even if it was only for a few hours.

Downside to all this: Sunburn. Lingering sunburn... It's Monday, and I still hurt.

Then, I got a call from Britt, telling me that Nikki was almost to Kent (I didn't know she was even coming) and that she needed the parking pass. That was in my car. In Hiram. So I drove home like a bat out of heck. Britt, A.J., Nikki and myself then had an awesome cookout... All the food was absolutely delicious. Plus, it was the twins' birthday... Moose and Beast got treats and toys and were just generally excited about everything (they're dogs, in case you didn't remember) Then, that night, we went to go see fireworks, and came back to make s'mores and light sparklers.

Downside to all this: I think I ate enough food for twelve people

Then, Sunday night was staff night. We (Jackie and her husband, Katie, Sarah, Tim, Dave and myself) all piled into Jackie's SUV. Katie, Sarah and I got to be trunky monkeys... Then we all piled out, backed the SUV into the spot, and set up lawn chairs. All of us took a football into the nearby field and played catch while waiting for the movie to start, and I caught some lightning bugs too and showed them to Katie. (I named them Horatio, Elizabeth, Ezekiel, and Sergio) We saw Ice Age 3 and Night at the Museum 2, which were both actually very good.

Downside to all this: James couldn't come, so we weren't a whole staff.

All in all, I had a pretty amazing weekend! I hope you did too!